I grew up watching my mother and grandmother cake on layers of Makeup, but when I went to try on eye shadow and lipstick my father would say "you don't need any of that stuff". In fact I started hating the way I looked when I did my own makeup. I thought I looked to old for how I felt. I wasn't "good" at it, and I felt fake.
Makeup became something I only did for special occasions, and I did not do it well.
NOT wearing makeup started to define me. Some of my friends spent hours perfecting their eye liner, and I just didn't have time for that, but I was envious of the way they looked. So then I'd take the hours need to cake something on, hide my imperfections, make my eyes SEXY and mimic the girls in magazines and in the clubs who make it look easy and effortless. By the time I was done, I wanted to scrap my skin off. I felt worse than I did before.
It wasn't until I was older, that I realized, I wear the makeup, it does not wear me. If I wanted to put on a touch of blush, I could. If I wanted to wear only eyeliner to change things up, I could. If I never wanted to put on lipstick again, because it was down right pointless, I wouldn't! If I wanted to paint a butterfly on my cheek for the day, I COULD and be damned anyone that judged me for doing it.
Loving my fresh, freckled, blemished, scared, wrinkled face was a journey of understanding myself. From my shoes to my hair, I'm gonna do me. Life is to short to be uncomfortable.