I've got a love/fear relationship with it. I maybe wear make-up once or twice a week, and when I do, I use mascara, eyeliner, and some under eye concealer. I fluctuate between it feeling empowering and fun to a subconscious desire to look "better" or "enhance features". I wish I could say that I 100% use make-up when I go out just for me, but the truth is, like every other woman, I am subject to the systems of sexism and capitalism that exist and tell me that I am not good enough, that my features are imperfections, that I need to correct my face, that it is broken, that I am broken, that I need to stop aging [as if I can turn back time AND that aging = ugly].
In the moments where I can connect with something deeper than myself and this society, I wear eyeliner and feel badass, like a rockstar, and tied into my desi culture, where it's not uncommon to see girls and boys wearing kohl at very young ages.
It also breaks my heart to hear women speak to other women, and say things like, "Oh, you don't even need make up, I definitely do", or "I wish I had your skin" or even "Maybe you should put some makeup on..." The ways in which we've been conditioned to compete which each other, compare with each other, makes us all feel pretty shitty. I'm constantly, actively unlearning my conditioning.